Coming Clean

At school. In my neighborhood. In front of my friends. With my parents.
These are all places that I am fake. I've lied about many things, experiences I never had even if I say I have. All these lies and cover ups are something that I feel I will live to regret.

It takes a lot of courage for me to write something like this because me, being as stubborn as I am don't like to expose or admit to my faults. It all has become too much now though and I feel like this is something I really need to take action on because I'm losing myself.

I feel like I'm becoming a world-class bitch. I used to be that girl in class who tried to brighten people's day. I used to be that girl that people would nominate as "kindest", "most likely to put a smile on your face", "sweetest". Back then it wasn't fake.

I've always had a trust issue. Not one thing significant or recognizable event caused me to lose faith in people but overtime watching how mean people can be or how easily people can turn against you made me lose it. I'm the kind of person that lets what people say about me really personally. I can't change that. I think that people find me open but in reality that's my aim. I say a lot about myself that isn't deep and personal. Incase you guys are reading this, Hey. Thank You. I love you and thank you for not judging me. These are the initials of everyone that I have been completely honest to. VS, TV, ...that's it.
Two. Two freaking people that I have been basically completely honest to. I'm so ashamed to say that I have only been completely honest to two people in my life.

Here's what I want from myself.
I want to be purely kind.
I want to be the person that anyone can go to to talk without being afraid of being judged.
I want to stop gossiping.
I want people to look up to me.
I want to stop telling lies.
I want to succeed.
I want to be loved by someone (either as a best friend or a lover) for being me.
I want to stop taking things for granted.
I want to stop being greedy and asking for things that I don't need.
I want to make someone proud.
I want to be loved by my family.
I want to work hard for something.

This post was inspired by Gabriella Lindley's youtube video called Honesty. I felt like I could relate. I Because of that I cried. Actually that's an under statement. I sobbed because it felt so real to me and it was clear that I needed to somehow start over and this is my first step.
XoXo,
lemanade<3

Review! Mask of Magnaminty

A Little Background Info

     So I have been struggling with my skin since 5th grade. I used to and continue to be very self-contious about my situation. Although I am no expert, I have tried a fair share of skin care products ranging from drug store to higher end products.
     One particular product/ range of products is the lush fresh face masks. In particular, the love lettuce and catastrophe cosmetic ones do the best for my skin. Since I love these two products so much, I try to get them as often as I can, usually about once a month. This month in particular, I went to go buy a pack only to find that they were sold out completely of any fresh face masks. To say I freaked out would be an understatement. The lady working on the floor informed me of the self preserving mask of magnaminty. She said that it was similar to the fresh face masks so I decided to try it.

Image from google images/polyvore

Get to Know my Skin

     I have skin that breaks out very easily. My t-zone is quite oily, especially my nose, and the rest of my face can get rather dry. My break outs are usually targeted around my nose but not on it and at my temples. I cleanse daily with the Kiehl's ultra facial cleanser and about once a week I use The Body Shop tea tree skin clearing face wash. To moisturize I use the Kiehl's blue herbal moisturizer.

Images from google images/mens journal and google images/the body shop

What I Thought

     When I first applied it all over my face, I liked the creaminess of the mask as well as how soft the beans felt. I'm not a big fan of the smell though. It was a bit too herbal for my liking. I left it on for about 7 minutes and I loved the icy fresh feeling it left on my face, similar to the effect of a mouthwash in you mouth. It came off quite easily and it left my face feeling smoothed and refreshed. 

Better Than the Fresh Face Masks?

     In my opinion, no BUT when there isn't a refrigerator around and my skin is having a bad day then I definitely will repurchase it. Lush has never disappointed me and I hope to continue to be impressed with more products as time goes on. 

     Make sure to follow me on instagram @eliselemans and tell me what brought you there. It would mean so much to me if you comment below and tell me about your favorite skin care products! 

XoXo,

Lemanade<3